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Quotes from the American Taliban
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Tridge


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 2:29 am    Post subject:  Quotes from the American Taliban  
These people are for real? kthX?
http://www.reandev.com/taliban/
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:57 am    Post subject:  
holy. crap.

i cannot believe there is such ignorance in such a pure form.

"Not only is homosexuality a sin, but anyone who supports xxxs is just as guilty as they are. You are both worthy of death."

this guy needs to have a semi truck help him take his shoes off.

no, wait. im wrong. i cant actually choose. this should be someones hitlist.

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different...More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."

this guy is an absolute idiot. how can he even compare a religious group having some 'rights' abolished, to the torture, starvation, beating, and murder of 19 million people.

"Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists."

i guess i am with the terrorists, because if i ment ANY of these people in real life, and they said ANYTHING of this nature to me, they wouldnt be able to say another word, for the rest of their life. lets see them spread their ignorant preaching without a tongue.


i wish this list included email addresses. it would be so nice to give my opinion to each of them.
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ubermoose
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:59 am    Post subject: Re: Quotes from the American Taliban  
Henry Morris wrote:
"When science and the Bible differ, science has obviously misinterpreted its data."


hmm. but then again look at who said it:

do you belive a book, which was written a LONG time ago by people with no proof of what they are saying, or science, where people actaully take time to experiment and reason and prove what they do?

oh sorry i forgot, its in the bible it must be true Rolling Eyes .

Edit: I just read J. B. Stoner's quotes. I really have nothing to say.

Edit2: I live in England and i dont know what sort of schools there are over in America but...
Jesse Helms wrote:
"Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior."
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:49 am    Post subject: Re: Quotes from the American Taliban  
Jesse Helms wrote:
"Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior."


Man. I must have gone to the wrong schools. NONE of my teachers ever taught me anything about cannibalism... I had to figure it out on my own when I was trying to find a way to get rid of the bodies of all those infants and elderly people I murdered.

Seriously. It's kind of embarassing whenever Beloved Uncle Bush tells us we're fighting a war against the "tyranny of fundamentalism".

When I read (or re-read - I've seen a lot of that before) stuff like this I'm thankful we're a capitalist nation, otherwise the whackjobs on the Christian right would have taken over long ago. Fortunately, in the small minds of humanity Greed > God.

[Edit: I'll bet Henry Morris likes to get spanked by leather-clad men while wearing a ball gag and nipple clamps. Just look at that guy. I can totally picture him naked and hog-tied in a Mexican bordello grunting in pleasure as he's violated by a mask wearing jiggalo known only as "El Meatador".]

[Edit #2: I'm not sure there's enough booze in my house to get the aforementioned image out of my head...]

[Edit #3: If I ever go into the porn industry, my stage name is totally going to be "El Meatador".]
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:31 am    Post subject:  
This HAS to be the best one:

"State Universities are breeding grounds, quite literally, for sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV), homosexual behavior, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, alcoholism, and drug abuse."

So y'all better push for that financial aid ya heard?! Keep away from those *cringe* State Universities. Wink
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 11:49 am    Post subject:  
This one really struck me

Rush Limbaugh wrote:
"If you commit a crime, you're guilty."

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 11:50 am    Post subject:  
Quote:
Jesse Helms wrote:

"Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior."




Man. I must have gone to the wrong schools. NONE of my teachers ever taught me anything about cannibalism... I had to figure it out on my own when I was trying to find a way to get rid of the bodies of all those infants and elderly people I murdered.



I think that this is a serious candidate for the funniest sentance on lld101
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:05 pm    Post subject:  
Okay guys, let's take a long hard LOOK at these people.

They're all conservative christians, they're all very obviously republican, and since they're christian, that makes them creationists, and not believers in evolution.

Now.. let's LOOK at the pictures.

Notice how most, if not all of them look like apes?
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4-3 for inexorable again in melee. 10 life...pssh.


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Zero
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:20 pm    Post subject:  
J.B. Stoner wrote:
"I praise God all the time for AIDS."


wow moron

Ann Coulter wrote:
"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."


did you see the picture her? She looks like that blond girl that saw in front of you in class and asked questions like "Whos Osama Bin Laden" (theres really a girl that was in my freshman year class that asked that.)

Bob Dornan wrote:
"Don't use the word 'gay' unless it's an acronym for 'Got Aids Yet'"


lol
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Inexorable

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Quotes from the American Taliban  
Dao Jones wrote:
[Edit: I'll bet Henry Morris likes to get spanked by leather-clad men while wearing a ball gag and nipple clamps. Just look at that guy. I can totally picture him naked and hog-tied in a Mexican bordello grunting in pleasure as he's violated by a mask wearing jiggalo known only as "El Meatador".]



I'm trying to remember if it was Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson that got caught scrumping a dog a few years ago... but yet they continue to preach the same things...
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Knarl wrote:
4-3 for inexorable again in melee. 10 life...pssh.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 1:59 pm    Post subject:  
its almost garuanteed that 60-70% of those people do something they preach against, in their private lives. especially that priest with the cowboy hat. he just screams "im gay, but cant accept it".
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 3:47 pm    Post subject:  
ubermoose wrote:

do you belive a book, which was written a LONG time ago by people with no proof of what they are saying, or science, where people actaully take time to experiment and reason and prove what they do?

oh sorry i forgot, its in the bible it must be true Rolling Eyes .


Well, from reading these quotes I would say that these people fall into the category of people that do not believe what is written in the Bible.

ubermoose wrote:

Edit2: I live in England and i dont know what sort of schools there are over in America but...
Jesse Helms wrote:
"Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior."


This guy is just trying to take things that are sins and making them sound worse than they are usually considered. Wife-swapping is what people who gets divorces do. Murdering infants is done by anyone who has an abortion. By the way, it is hard to find a passage in the Bible that condemns abortion. Murder of the elderly is euthanasia I guess, but I don't imagine that is taught as acceptable or as unacceptable since it is so controversial right now. I am not sure what the cannibalism was an exageration of. Maybe he just threw that in there and hoped that no one would notice that nothing even close to that is being taught as acceptable.

Dao Jones wrote:

When I read (or re-read - I've seen a lot of that before) stuff like this I'm thankful we're a capitalist nation, otherwise the whackjobs on the Christian right would have taken over long ago. Fortunately, in the small minds of humanity Greed > God.

This is a big day for me! I finally get to disagree completely with Dao himself. From what I have seen, the Christain right flurishes is a capitalistic setting. It is the Christian left (they do exist!) that is stunted by capitalism. They don't all end up poor, but it is next to impossible to do the Christian thing and still excel in the world of big bussiness, for example. Much of the Christian right, however, seems to have no problem keeping their bussiness lives and their religous lives seperate, which, while being completely unBiblical, allows success in a capitalistic environment.

Quote:

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different...More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."

this guy is an absolute idiot. how can he even compare a religious group having some 'rights' abolished, to the torture, starvation, beating, and murder of 19 million people.


It seems that this guy heard someone talking about similarities to how pre-WW2 Germany blamed the economic problems on the Jews and used this as an excuse to kill them to how rightwing Christians are now being blamed for much the same thing in the US and tried to make his own statement about it. And this came out. Insane. It is true that conservative Christains are being blamed for many more of the problems then they are responsible for, but to compare the current situation to how the Jews were treated is crimminally ignorant. One thing many people fail to realize is that the vast majority of the "Christian" right is not being persecuted for being Christian; they are being persecuted for being a bunch of ignorant pricks.
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 4:16 pm    Post subject:  
giantsquid wrote:

This is a big day for me! I finally get to disagree completely with Dao himself.


BURN THE WITCH! BUUUURRRRRNNNNN HIIIIIMMMM!

Actually, I agree with you, and I should clarify my point. What I meant to infer was that the average vaguely religious but mostly uncommitted American is spared the ravages of ardent adherence to Christianity because they're too busy trying to get rich. For every person duped into believing that "poverty in this life equates to riches in the next life" there's two people saying "yeah, but I wanna have fun now!"

So every once in a while some bible-thumping yahoo comes along and starts screaming about salvation and the apocalypse, creationism in schools and homosexuals subverting our youth, and he whips people into a frenzy of self-loathing and righteous indignation and their thoughts turn to religious absolution. But then they change the channel, because they want to catch the night's winning Lotto numbers before tuning into watch the lastest reality show that takes 10 "average people just like them" and gives them a chance at tangental happiness in exchange for publicly humiliating themselves.

<hears rising strains of "God Bless America" in the background, and wipes a tear from his eye as he boldly salutes the American flag, which if a proposed measure currently in Congress passes will no longer be legal to burn, thus further abridging the 1st Amendment rights of hippies everywhere>
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 7:53 am    Post subject:  
If nothing else, I'd like to walk up to each and every one of these people, look them straight in the eye and yell "Shemhamforash! Hail Satan!", and see how many of them have heart attacks on the spot. Anyone wanna post bets?
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Knarl wrote:
4-3 for inexorable again in melee. 10 life...pssh.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:35 am    Post subject:  
Cancerofdabowel wrote:
If nothing else, I'd like to walk up to each and every one of these people, look them straight in the eye and yell "Shemhamforash! Hail Satan!", and see how many of them have heart attacks on the spot. Anyone wanna post bets?


I did this once, when I was in college. For some inexplicable reason there were people handing out free bibles right outside the grounds, and they weren't letting a single student past without approaching them. Normally I'd stop and annoy them with my "I know more than you" snottiness, but I was already late for my first class so I just tried to brush past them unnoticed. Unfortunately, one saw me and zeroed in to intercept. He hadn't gotten more than "Would you like a..." out of his mouth before I gave him a crazy look and intoned "no thanks - I worship the Devil". That backed him off quickly.

However, this wasn't the most effective "religious repellant" I had ever used. My best one was completely unintentional, and amazingly effective. When I still lived at home my Mom's neighborhood was frequently targeted by Mormons. (Nice house, upper-middle class neighborhood.) One day I was at home sleeping when they came knocking. I stumbled groggily to the door and opened it before stopping to check the peephole. The two pleasant, well-dressed young elders smiled at me, and opened with their traditional "would you like a personal relationship with Jesus" line. Still half-asleep, I responded "we're Catholic here". (Which was partially true. Both my Mom and I were at one point Catholic, but were pretty much non-practicing for years.)

The response I received, however, was amazing. With barely concealed disdain and a forced smile, I got a muttered "oh" from the older one, and they quickly turned to leave. To this day they no longer come to her house. (This was many years ago.) Apparently, in Mormonese, "we're Catholic" translates roughly into "please come in! Just let me finish having sex with my dog while taking a crap on a picture of Jesus. Do you prefer your fresh serving of aborted fetus juice blended or on the rocks?"

Man, those were some unhappy Mormons.
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