LLD101

[change pls]

Growing up in the country of Colombia, a girl and her family lived in fear and intimidation of the armed men whom controlled everything. People were innocently kidnapped by the armed men. Some taxi drivers robbed their passengers. If you were an honest judge, witness or a prosecutor, there?s a high chance that you would have been intimidated or killed by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia or another terrorist group. The money provided by the government was austere and the peso was worth practically nothing. The average person lived in poverty and had no hope of escape. ?Where else can there be so much power, freedom, hope, opportunity, and escape from violence in the world than in America?? read a missionary?s emigration advocate poster. Her parents concluded that they could not live in Colombia under the given circumstances any longer, so they prepared to leave the country by any means necessary. Her father contacted the missionary and set up a date for their departure. During their 8 month transition time of waiting to go to America, they practiced speaking the English language. Fortunately, the daughter learned at a much faster pace than her parents and was to be placed into kindergarten at age 6. She lagged behind classmates due to being briefly exposed to the main language, English. In elementary school, there were always a few of the other students whom thought her accent sounded silly. Luckily, there was an English as a Second Language teaching program for students like her.

this is the beginning of an 800ish word story for my world myth class, any constructive criticism is welcome
someone pls try thinking of a better american missionary poster than the current one

[ThatGuy]

Format your block of text better. I'm not going to read it like that.

[Weaj]

Don't forget to indent your paragraphs.

[Grim04]

You join the site, make one post, then try to get people to do your homework?

[Virtuous]

Double space after your periods. Like so.

[AmishSpeedGoat]

[ubermoose]

[mastercraft]

that was my temp account grim, i had some technical difficulties and this account was deactivated
indent- check
ive heard of double spacing after periods in elementary but i forget why

[Vixen]

It's alright. Boring as hell though.

[mastercraft]

Growing up in the country of Colombia, a girl and her family lived in fear and intimidation of the armed men whom controlled everything. People were innocently kidnapped by the armed men and used as political bargaining chips.

Corrupt taxi drivers robbed their passengers. If you were an honest judge, witness, or a prosecutor, there?s a high chance that you would have been either intimidated or killed by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia or another terrorist group.

The money provided by the government was austere and the peso was worth practically nothing. The average person lived in poverty and had no hope of escape.

?Where else can there be so much power, freedom, hope, opportunity, and escape from violence in the world than in America?? read a missionary?s emigration advocacy poster.

Her parents concluded that they could not live in Colombia under the given circumstances any longer, so they prepared to leave the country as soon as possible.
Her father contacted the missionary and set up a date for their departure.

They practiced speaking English during their 8 month fund raising transition. The missionaries mandated an English class to be taken before entering the states.

When sufficient funds were collected, the Colombian family anxiously boarded the missionary sponsored one way flight to America. Upon arriving at the airport, reality hit. They had to find a job within 1 week as their funding dollars were nearly parched dry.

It didn?t take the immigrant family very long to become homesick. They missed the Colombian cuisine which was only marketed in their native town. They missed the rich, fresh, colorful fruits and forgot recipes for dishes such as arroz con coco, chicharrons, and bu?uelos. They thought they knew the foods well enough by taste, so they would attempt to make dishes from scratch.

Minimum wage jobs opened up and soon thereafter they moved into an apartment.
Entering kindergarten, she had trouble adapting. She lagged behind classmates due to being briefly exposed to the prominently spoken language, English. Luckily, there was an ?ESL? (English as a Second Language) program for elementary students like her.

During school, there were always a few of the other students whom thought her accent sounded silly and teasing became an occasional nuisance. The parents couldn?t get a decent job since they spoke very little English. In spite of all their daily struggles, they would remind themselves that every cloud has a silver lining and it would help them carry on with their everyday Colombian American lives.

Eventually, her accent diluted, her rolling r?s receded to tamed English ones, and she held a firm grasp of both Spanish and English grammar. She was like an arrow guided in the right direction, and with her parents support, she was destined to be a successful first generation American.

In high school, funding for the ?English as a Second Language? program was cut and they dropped it the year she entered. Standard level English classes bombarded her brain with terms mostly unknown and undealt with. She couldn?t handle the grammatical heat and dropped out of the class.

She began to feel depressed, obtuse, and defeated shortly after seeing her first progress report. Menacing thoughts of her inevitable scholarly doom controlled her conscience as her grades slipped farther and farther into a cataclysmic and catastrophic hole.

Her adversities matured into a blunder of a breaking point. Quitting high school her freshman year appeared to be the only viable option left. She walked out of class and school one very rainy, dreary day.

With uncertainty of her future, she walked outside and withdrew an umbrella. As she erected it, from the darkest of the rain clouds sparked a chain of lightning. Violent spasms and muscle cramps rattled her body as the bolt passed through. She receded into a mild coma for 3 days. She awoke on the third day with amnesia. Her parents reminded her of what happened, and they persuaded her to go back to school to meet a counselor.

The counselor recognized her problem and had been preparing documents and applications, solving her predicament by searching for bilingual student assistance programs. The local vocational school held a class which was dedicated to tutoring bilingual students. She passed all her classes and lived progressively ever happier.
End.

[zarc]

Good.

[Virtuous]

[Waramp]

owned. but yeah, i double space after a period. even as im typing this and i know that both spaces wont show up, i still do it.

[oleo79]

what grade is this for? I can critique it very well if given this info.

[mastercraft]

11th/12th grade class